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1. "I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later." —Mitch Hedberg 2. "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the war room.".


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#1 "People say, 'But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.' Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends I need a Ouija board." —Betty White Report 409 points POST Ryan Deschanel 2 years ago She is great, she is lovely. 88 View More Replies. View more comments #2


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Three words you should never tell a girl, "You look fat.". A woman can live without a man but not without a salon, a shopping mall, and a jewelry store. Give a girl a flower, and she will be nice to you. Give a girl a diamond, and she will marry you.


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Get to know about a woman's nature with these funny quotes and sayings about women. Women's Day Messages. A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking. - By Malcolm de Chazal, Mauritian Writer. I'd much rather be a woman than a man.


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21. Whitney Cummings 20. Julia Louis-Dreyfus "If you feel rooted in your home and family, if you're active in your community, there's nothing more empowering. The best way to make a difference in.


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We've compiled a list of 100 hilarious and witty quotes that perfectly capture the essence of this special day. From well-known comedians to influential women throughout history, these quotes are sure to leave you with a smile on your face and a newfound appreciation for all the amazing women in your life.


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50 Amazing Women, 50 Hilarious Quotes. Seija Rankin. January 3, 2014, 5:00 PM. ADVERTISEMENT. See All Slides. Begin Slideshow. Post-holiday blues, much? We know that ushering in a new year is an.


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1. "My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher." —Socrates 2. "If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife's birthday,.


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Updated: December 5, 2022 Some of the links in this post may be affiliate links. See our disclosure for more info. Looking for a good laugh? We've got you covered with a huge list of funny quotes to make you laugh out loud. Laughter truly is the best medicine for your soul.


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"Behind every crazy woman is a man who made her that way." - Unknown crazy women quotes funny "The main reason women are crazy, is that men are stupid." - George Carlin Crazy Women quotes "No doubt that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree." - W.C. Fields crazy woman quotes "I think women get labeled a lot as being crazy.


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100 Funny Quotes About Strong Women. "Behind every strong woman is a group text with her closest friends, where they plot world domination
 and brunch.". "Strong women don't break the glass ceiling, they shatter it and make it into a fabulous mosaic.". "I'm not bossy, I'm just confident enough to know what needs to be done.".


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1. "I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive." —Joan Rivers 2. "I grew up in a time when women didn't really do comedy. You.


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Funny Women Quotes and Sayings If a blonde throws you a grenade
you pull the pin and throw it back! 699 0 A jealous woman does better research than the FBI. 547 2 Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. - George Carlin 523 2 We always hold hands.


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"A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous." "The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud." Alyssa Edwards "Don't get bitter, just get better." Kayci Diane "I love the person I've become because I fought to become her." Drew Barrymore "Let's get down and dirty. Let's be a real girl." Tallulah Bankhead


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"Don't be so humble — you are not that great." ― Golda Meir "If you can't be kind, at least be vague." ― Judith Martin "There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that.


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Lifestyle 101 Funny Quotes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh Turn that frown upside down with these hilarious sayings about life, love, friendship, and work. By Alesandra Dubin and Corinne.